In June of 2010 when I graduated from the American Musical and Dramatic Academy if someone had said to me that in January of 2012 I would meet the right people who would change my life forever and if someone had told me I would be writing and co-producing an album for myself….I would’ve shook my head and told you ” no, no… I’m a theater girl. I could never do that, I’m not pretty enough and I could never….”
Well, I did… I FUCKING did and I AM.
Last January I signed a production agreement with spotlight 87 entertainment and little did I know my life would finally make the right turn… I have worked extensively on a 10 song album, what is my life for a year and 3 months to this day. Every ounce of me seeps through this music. Every tragedy, every heartbreak, every tear… Every laugh and every smile…Every part of me is in this music„, vocals and lyrics. It is ALL me. I have never felt so accomplished in my entire life and I have never felt more at peace with my past. My pain and my joy is etched in this record and a part of me is so relieved to let some things go and know that they are documented and they will communicate so much to those who listen to my story. I am so unbelievably blessed to have this team stand behind me every single step of the way, supporting me, teaching me and loving me for who I am … insecurities, flaws and all…and I have waited SO long for someone to believe in me the right way. So many times people are so intimidated or so envious that helping me would have been a sin to them. I have been shunned away one to many times and I finally am surrounded by the right people this time.
Just knowing that I have a chance at this, a real chance…one shot is all I could have ever hoped for. I have been doing this since kindergarten I have dreamed about this for 23 years. The fact that I have people willing to let me try…is the most amazing gift. This recording process hasn’t been easy, so many days I want to post the music and I want people to know this is a work in progress…people have no idea what goes into producing a full record and so many of my peers are rushing to jump ahead of me and ahead of the game. Not taking music seriously and playing the game just for the outcome, just for the recognition and it is very hard for me to stay patient and stay quiet about my work. In Beyonces “Life is but a dream” documentary she says ” people dont listen to a body of work anymore, they just release a single and when that gets old they release another one and another one…” Music has lost a lot of its worth in this generation….you dont even have to be a real singer anymore, if you have money and auto tune you seem to be set….well that does NOT fly with me and I will try my hardest to bring real meaning back into this industry with real talent…..Having patience is something I work on everyday…I am so so passionate about my goals and my music and it’s hard for me to accept this long process. I know I am not alone in this feeling. I know from the people I have met through out my life that we are all working towards something and struggling to accomplish our dreams, terrified that money won’t hold out before we make it to where we wish to be. I whole heartedly believe if you wake up everyday and voice to the universe what you know you want and what you know you deserve then it will come, it came to me… And I am here to tell you never give up on what you really want in life.I haven’t reached nearly what I dream of achieving yet but I am 10 steps closer and it’s all because I put it out there for the universe to hear. I am terrified of change, I’m terrified I will change I’m terrified everyone around me will change…I’m terrified of losing, and I am terrified my music may not be interpreted the way I hope and pray it does but I will absolutely have NO regrets because I tried harder than I ever imagined.
Today is the last day I will be recording for this album, it is my last studio session for this chapter of my life …. This is like a graduation, and I am terrified but I am so thrilled and SO proud and no one can take that feeling from me. Patience must play it’s role again, I will not be releasing this album out right away. We have meetings and things to do before I can give anyone this, and that is really hard. But I know it is for the best and will have a greater outcome in the long run. So I feel your pain for all of you who have been waiting so patiently with me…but I will let you know as soon as I know when you also can get your hands on my record! I cannot thank the people who are positive and supportive in my life day in and day out enough….who truly believe in what I have to offer this world. Every single person I have come to know even if it was for a short while has influenced me so greatly (yes,even the bad ones…) I am so thankful. Thank you for the criticisms, for the opinions for the love. It is so appreciated and I only want to prove to you how grateful I am for your input whether its on a picture, a Facebook status, a YouTube video, a tweet or a kind message filled with enthusiasm and encouraging words.
This day is overwhelming and amazing, I have the chance and opportunity to live and fulfill my dreams. There is no greater joy in this world. This has truly been the most amazing year and 3 months of my life and I know we can only go up from here. If you want something bad enough you will do it. Take risks don’t be afraid. You will cry you will hurt you will feel pain and loneliness and you will have losses, many of them. But the result of the hard work and the struggle is more than enough you just have to tell yourself that you are willing and can. Whether you want to become a doctor, open up a business or in my case enter this insane world of entertainment. I am so proud to announce I will be signing my first contract with spotlight 87 entertainment group and will be under their management!! The next step has finally arrived, one that I never imagined I’d have and always dreamed about! I cannot stress my gratitude to my team, my producer Alex Houton who has encountered quite a lot with the crazy flaw-filled passionate Sarah Madison ;)…… And Brian Vibberts !! This is only the beginning and I cannot wait to see what life has in store. Thank you for all your encouragement and strength and belief in this, and in me.
"Beauty provokes Harassment" -- and I'm tired of it
So I’ve come to notice that I’m starting to cause a lil controversy with some pictures I choose to post via Instagram/FB of myself… Here is my response, if you don’t like it don’t follow me, I would just like to say that I work hard in my life. Really fucking hard at everything I do, and that includes my body. And I’m proud of it. So that’s it. I will post what I want to, I’m not shallow, I’m not a whore, I am flashy and I’m a diva but I am humble and kind and driven and I am an artist, and one of the HARDEST working ones at that…photography is another form of art that I really respect and I love to take part in expressing my feelings through photographs.
BOTTOM LINE: If you don’t like who I am, what I stand for, what my music sounds like or what I put out via the internet… you are all entitled to your own opinions but please don’t take out on me what you DONT like about me, its a waste of your energy and I don’t spend my time persuading people to like who I am, I love who I am and that’s all that matters… So if you don’t to each his own but just delete me, trust me no hard feelings…and I’d rather have it that way because I do not want any negativity of any kind surrounding me at this moment in time.
Sarah Madsison XOXO
"Hate that’s fine, don’t make a hate crime….pathetic"
In 2 days I’ll be turning the big 2-4. SO weird…I’m trying not to trip myself into thinking negatively about the age. So tonight I am going to celebrate with friends, well try to anyway, Cause ya know…Rihanna is 24 and has like 7 Grammy awards…
I know it’s so bad to compare yourself…I try not to because I am different from anyone else…so I can’t compare how my life is playing out to someone else’s life because It’s all relative. And I will get my chance, even if it’s not now, it’s coming.
I’ve been set back this month, usually February is one of my favorite months but this month has challenged me, it shook me and took me to a very dark place that I am now trying to crawl out of. It’s hard for me to find happiness, I’ve come to realize this…I think part of that is because there are a lot of things I yearn for that I know are not in my power to with hold, right now…or possibly ever.
This month the relationship with my father literally dwindled down to nothing. I knew it was coming, it was only a matter of time before the past 10 years of pain caught up to us…but a part of me was hopeful it wouldn’t have come to this…of course I was right yet again. I am beyond sad about how everything is playing out, but I will not let this pull me down and pull me away from my destiny. I don’t regret the words that were said, his wife has pulled him away from the relationship we SHOULD HAVE had and she has pulled him away from his children. 10 years of keeping my mouth shut because I was trying to respect him and his decisions and because I didn’t want to put him in an awkward situation has finally come out of me like word vomit. So much relief, but so much depression.
"If you think I’m going to be proud of you based on a recording career, you are solely mistaken…"
those words will always be imprinted in the back of my mind, and the damage is done. Because regardless if I have a career in singing and recording or writing music…either way you have basically never supported the one thing that I love, simply because you don’t understand it, you don’t want to and you have chosen to miss out on the past 23 years of my life consumed with it and that was your choice… You have carelessly judged my life and burned my heart. And although the fire has died, and the burn barely stings because I have enough strength to push out your detrimental behavior, the sadness will never be eliminated…but I will not let ignorance ruin me, especially yours.
So many good things are happening with my music and my career, I am trying to focus on that, but focusing on the career can only stop the hurt in the center of your chest for so long. Dark nights and cold mornings eventually creep up on you with that devastation and confusion that you try so hard to push away 84% of the time. The one man I wish were, I can not make proud of me…I’ve had managers at part time jobs and teachers be more proud of me than I know he ever will, or maybe he is and it’s the woman behind his name now that has pulled him away from realizing he is. Either way, it has masked itself so well that I can’t feel it or see it, and haven’t for a very long time.
I will push on, because I know there is more in store for me…becoming 24 has made me think of how far I have ACTUALLY come, and although I don’t have awards (yet) or music playing on the radio (yet) the woman I am today compared to the one who was walking through high school hallways back in 2002 has come so far and I am SO proud of her, me. I have not given up, I have pushed through EVERYTHING. And I have been so fortunate to have those few family members and friends who have stuck with me all these years, through all the messes and successes.
I am excited for this coming year, I feel this fire in my soul, and I KNOW I am on to something. It brings tears to my face, knowing I have this support behind me and I am BEYOND excited to present this album of my life into this world. Whether 29 people hear it or 29,000 people hear it, it will be my proudest moment, EVER, to date. I am ready to tell the world who I am, why and where I’m going. And I know in years from now, those men including the ones in my family, who pushed me away and told me they’d never love me or were to scared to dedicate energy into a relationship of any kind will mean nothing, the friendships lost because of jealousy and intimidation…will mean nothing. The music will mean everything and that is all I ever wanted…so I’m trying to look forward and not behind me at the mistakes and bad choices I’ve made. Because the good choices I have consciously started to make are paving my way to a better future.
As much as I try to tell myself Love is not in the cards, I will always yearn for that. Working with a record label is more realistic to me than finding a man to love who I am. Some parts of me I still don’t even whole heartedly love…So how could anyone else? I hope everyone always yearns for something, so I don’t seem like a fool for writing something like that. I’m so dehydrated from wanting love, I miss feeling someone and loving another. Loving yourself gets lonely sometimes. Maybe the loneliness is what will shape the artist in me…I know I will always be eternally heartbroken… just because I am an artist I feel everything 10 TIMES MORE and 10 TIMES HARDER than an average person. One of my favorite quotes of all time is when Lady Gaga said ” As artists we are eternally heartbroken…” and I’m here to tell you, its completely true…It sucks, but it’s so beautiful because it sparks such creativity. But sometimes that is what fuels my weaknesses.
For now, I’m going to try and be happy about a new year, another year, I’m much wiser and this year will have just as much in store if not more than my 23rd year of life.
I can’t believe it…this very well my be my last birthday on the east coast for a while…
"This is a man's world, but it wouldn't be nothing, NOTHING without a woman or a girl."
Every time I say to myself “I’ve hit rock bottom…” it actually wasnt rock bottom, until this time.
In a matter of 7 days…I’ve managed to FINALLY speak out against some of the most hateful people in my life, who happen to be blood related unfortunately and I have let go of 10 years of built up anger and sadness and thoughts (through an email mind you, because he/she couldn’t bother to pick up the phone to call me even though they are grown.) Because they couldn’t face the fucking truth.
So, do I feel bad that I hurt them? Or do I rejoice because I have been hurting for 10 YEARS and now I can finally move forward whether they stand behind me or not, I am no longer holding on to this hate and this grief.
I’m so tired, and I’ve come to the realization that I’ve given up on people. Everyone actually. How sad is that? I’m going to be 24 years old in 9 days, and that is depressing. Whoever said the best years of your life are your 20’s didn’t know what the fuck they were talking about.
I’m smart, I’m talented, I’m a beautiful, loving, caring woman…and I am ALONE. Am I alone because of the way I was raised? I never saw love, never believed in love, and the one man who was supposed to show me love, still has yet to…so is THAT why I’m alone? Because it’s me? It has to be me…because EVERY man can’t be a piece of shit…or can they? Because the only one’s I have come to know, who I have let in, even if it was for a few short weeks just TAKE from me. Because I believe in them as people, I think…they’re different, they care right? WRONG. They’re curious…because I am this headstrong woman who is going after her dreams who WILL FUCKING ACCOMPLISH THEM and it’s like NO MAN has ever dealt with a woman who speaks her mind and her heart and doesn’t play the FUCKING game. I put it right out in the open 24/7 and I STILL can’t get ONE honest person as an outcome. Do I laugh, or do I cry? Do I hate, or do I hope?
The ONLY thing, literally the only ONE thing I believe in is my fucking self. Because no one has proven me otherwise. The ONLY thing I can count on is my fucking self, and the only thing I clearly have going for me is this music. And the ONLY love I will ever know is this music. So should I be thankful that I have that? Knowing I am about to change the world and everyone who has wronged me can go FUCK themselves when I break out into society andchange lives…or should I feel sad that I have lost ALL hope in every other aspect?
How did I become this person? And why have I recently accepted bullshit from cowards? I know I put an end to it today, so tomorrow I may find a little more peace knowing I have shunned out the stupidity yet again…but I am really upset with myself that I even LET someone in like that AGAIN…who just flat out took light from me. WHY would I believe anything different would happen, and why am I surprised this time when its happened EVERY OTHER TIME.
My psyche and my emotional state are in shambles, and so are certain pieces of my family. And all I can do is move forward, alone, recording this music that will hopefully save me from this life and save me from this generation of not only men, but PEOPLE who are just raping me for my talent, my affection and my loyalty. When I don’t receive any of it in return. I’m ready world and I’m about to FUCK you all, in the best way possible.
Sorry for this vulgar blog, but this is real life and I just went jersey for a second…I’ll get over myself soon and all this bullshit and you best believe I’ll be on top, riding this….for the REST of my life so get READY…Cause that’s how I like it…ON TOP. This girl has fire and she’s fucking ready.
I over look my city as I take the 194 bus back into manhattan and I can’t help but wonder how is it that I live in a city of millions and feel so alone 76% of the time, how am I alone? How am I still single after 2 years? And why am I settling for petty bullshit when I promised myself I wouldn’t and when I write music that says I don’t…
I mean, for over a year I didn’t settle and I was alone, completely alone because no one was worthy of my time and my mind…But I’m tired of the lonely so I started to settle for indecisive unsure insecure men and I have become this woman on the side … I have NEVER been that woman…I am so much better than that but I somehow can’t find myself to be the priority, ever…So I settle. How do I stop? I want the idea of love, knowing I may never find it…no man has ever loved me back in all 3 serious relationships that I sacrificed myself for…I’ve fallen hard once and I doubt that will ever happen again… And it’s fine that’s life and heart break is what motivated me to create this album that is going to impact so many (I pray)… But it saddens me thinking that I am not worthy of love. I know my self worth but I feel like love is so out of reach for me… A record deal is more realistic right now…is that amazing? Or just depressing?
I keep forcing myself to believe music will fill the void, my career will fill the void…But it won’t, and it isn’t.
I’m like a magnet for unavailable men who are the top candidates in my fucked up thought process…
Our generation SUCkS, intimacy is no longer sacred and I have somehow fallen into this statistic and It literally keeps me from sleeping at night.
I KNOW I’m not the only single, driven, talented, beautiful,inside and out, woman here in this city..or in the world…who looses sleep questioning and contemplating this…
Why are we so alone?
I know there is so much greater pain in this world than mine…but it’s all relative.
"Maybe there is somewhere a lesson to learn, but I’m still hurting" … -Jason Robert Brown’s The Last 5 Years … #Repeat.
One of the most amazing things that happened for me this year was meeting these 2 people.
Who continue to support me, stand up for me, believe in me, DEAL with me ;) and accept me and my music. They are teaching me so much and it is trying my patience which I desperately need. They challenge me, and everyday is a blessing knowing they are a part of my life and a part of this journey. I signed my production agreement last January with Spotlight87 entertainment group, to create this album and this marks a year with Alex and Brian. We are 9 songs in and there is no stopping us now…We have been extensively writing and recording for 12 months and we have a few more months to go…it has been the most liberating and beautiful experience of my life thus far, and I cannot contain my excitement to release this music and put it out there to the world, to the universe, to my friends and family and to fans and followers. My WHOLE heart is in this, and I hope you can feel it when you listen. #spotlight87 #teamsarahmadison
Living this dream has been far from easy, and I know it will only get harder, but I am ready. I have come a long way and there is no stopping now. The pain and exhaustion from the temporary fuels me to work harder so that is no longer the option. But success will be the option. It has taught me a great deal about just DEALING. which is SO hard for me to accept and do. I know I must be tested so I appreciate life more when it works in my favor. I know this will help me relate to people even more, and I know that not a lot of people get the opportunity to say “its only temporary” and I should feel blessed every single day. After all the lonely nights, after all the tiring mornings, and working double after double I know it will be worth it. And I know people will be able to look at me and feel as though they are not alone and that is the ultimate goal…so I will keep trekking on through this HORRID temporary, and I won’t stop until that is finally no longer the option.
2012 was another year of figuring myself out. It was definitely an unexpected turn…in certain aspects I am SO sure of who I am and what I need and what I want. But in other aspects I’m not…my whole view on love and men has lightened a little, which I was NOT expecting…or maybe my views haven’t changed maybe I just don’t care at this point? I can’t tell. Our generation is so demented. A very close friend, maybe more (who really knows)…told me honestly one night that it’s not about the feelings anymore it’s a numbers game. They’d rather rack up the number than be with the one person they HAVE right in front of them who cares for them and takes care of their needs…Is it weird that I accepted that answer? Is it also weird that I was just happy a man was TOTALLY honest and upfront with me for once. Instead of my usual sarcasm about how I hate men, my response was actually melancholy and I was just thrilled that a man was honest with me…that is NOT the sarah I know? weird…
Who knows at this point, honestly I’m not worried about it, love is not the path I am meant for…and that’s ok because what’s ahead will compromise my longing for companionship. I can only hope…
The people who have stuck with me this year are a GODSEND…I still have those few TRUE people in my life who I surround myself with constantly and they save me, they enlighten me, It’s amazing to look back a year and see who has stuck around and who has fallen off the path. It’s humbling really to have the same people in your life for 3, 4, 5 years who aren’t afraid to test you and who love you. Who you can go through your struggles with and know they will be there no matter what… I have learned so much from them…and I will continue to ONLY surround myself with these people. I no longer waste time or energy on people, I would rather get my beauty sleep. Partying, bar hopping, mingling…it is no longer anything I aspire for. So I will carry over that resolution as well, which I seemed to keep in 2012.
Sadly, one of them has fallen so far down a path of destruction that I am not sure I will ever get him back. His drug addiction is only taking him farther away from his family, from me and from reality. I have completely pushed him away now. Until he goes to rehab, I will not be affiliated with him because it is poison…it brings me down, the sadness is just too much and I cant have that. 2012 was the year to be selfish and I was and I am prospering as sad as that sounds…but I made that promise to myself and I kept it! I will be first in line when he decides to fix himself and his life but until that phone call I just can’t. I will always love him, he is the reason I never stopped…he is the reason I have 75% of the confidence I do, because when I didn’t believe he did…I will never forget that and I will never forget him. Who I used to know. Who was a part of my life for 6 years…I’m not sure if he will get out of the darkness, but all I can do is pray and wish him well as the demons in his mind tell him to hate and destroy because of his unhappiness.
This year I’ve done things personally and professionally I never thought I would. Some things I remember saying ” I would never do that, that is just not for me…some people can and Im not one of them…” although, now I’m doing them. I think that’s ok…its all a learning experience. And I’ve come to realize it doesn’t make me less of a woman or less of a person it just means I am accepting and doing what stems some sort of feeling in me. 2011-2012 I shut myself off from human beings in general, and this year I opened up a little more…so I am excited to see what this year holds.
I deactivated my Facebook December 1st and it is that time to recover it. It’s been one month away from the biggest form of social media, and it has been SO refreshing. I LOVED every second of it. It brought me back down, I feel more grounded, I feel a little more at peace with my mind and I am ready to bring it back. OBVIOUSLY I missed it!
HERE is to 2013. this is my MOTHA-PHUCKING YEAR. mark my words. AMAZING things are about to happen. Thanks to amazing people and amazing music that we are creating. I am SO ready for this year and I am SO blessed…some of my resolutions— to stop over-analyzing EVERYTHING…just let things be as they are, patience will be key this year…and I need to make sure I am patient, embrace the struggles and issues and knock out some of this attitude I’ve been carrying for a long time.
I rang in the new year with Michelle and Nicole and I wouldn’t want it any other way. The 2 strongest women a part of my life. Years worth of loving, crying and laughing…they are there for it all, I am so blessed to have these BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS women in my life day in and day out. Love Youz!
The other night I’d made plans to meet up with some friends from my previous DCL contract for drinks. Outfit was on, hair was did, face painted, and lastly the boots were on my feet. As I was applying my lip gloss, Sarah Madison turns to me, looks me over and says “Why are we single?..like really?…
"Get closer to me, if you dare...I double dare..."
It’s only appropriate that there is ALL this new music coming at me from every direction… it started with Beyonce’s 4, and now this month Christina’s Lotus, Rihanna’s Unapologetic, Ne-yo’s RED…its all pointing me in this continuous direction I’ve been on. and it’s this amazing sign that I’m on the right path…It is so close, I can taste it.
2011 was a year of heart ache and dysfunction, 2012 was the year the right people fell into my life and 2013 is going to be the year I rise. I am SO thankful. It’s crazy how blessed I am…and for a long time I couldn’t see that. And tonight the light has never been brighter in this darkened city and in this heavy heart of mine.
I can’t help but feel anxious and sometimes that leads to this insecurity, that is dangerous and I know this, I try my best to bury that…I try to keep my head closer to the ground so that if I do fall, it won’t make me too delusional. I have SO much to learn and I have SO much ahead of me to prepare for…I’m not sure if I’m really ready for what’s coming…I guess no one can be. Butall I know is I am working harder than I have ever worked in my life…so when it comes, if it comes, I will be able to look back and remember those humble beginnings.
tonight was beautiful, for many reasons ;) … and life is beautiful…it’s fucking hard and its fucking sad, but it is SO beautiful.
Something about getting on that flight to LAX…It just makes your dreams seem that much more attainable.
I got X-Tina on repeat reminding me just how much I am on the right track
In my life and with all I am doing and accomplishing. Everything happens in time…when you put the work in good things will happen. Challenge yourselves, push limits in every aspect of your life. Never stop fighting for you right. EVER.
"I'm singin' till I'm winnin', Ima sing all night."
'I'm singin' till I'm winnin', Ima sing all night.”
“I stand and believe in who I am, take shots at my heart but who am I to give up…reminding me to see my only chosen destiny, and now I’m ready now I’m gunna sing it all out.”
It never ceases to amaze me how SPOT ON my intuition is. Every time my gut tells me something, it happens or it did happen. I am becoming more and more sure of myself, and the woman I am becoming.
Music continues to be the only love sticking by my side (aside from family and friends, of course.) Now we all know family and friends can’t cuddle in the middle of the night and hold you to keep you warm. They can’t fill the void of yearning for affection from another. The cold weather always reminds me of how lonely I am and have been. I feel like the loneliness is here for a reason, it is preparing me for what is coming. I must push forward through the isolation. It has been the loneliest 2 years of my life, but ironically enough I have accomplished more in these past 2 years than I have in my entire life.
I’ve come to realize if you’re not struggling, then you’re not doing it right.
I will not back down, until I rise to the occasion.
I will sing.
I don’t care if I come off intimidating, I don’t care if I’m pushy. I go for what I want. PERIOD. No questions, just actions. And if that turns someone off then I will move on to the next who will appreciate it. I have sacrificed so much. I am too intense for most people…I DONT CARE. My intensity is true and strong and I will ALWAYS be honest and forward because that’s the only way you see results. Go after what you want, and if the other doesn’t want it then it wasn’t meant to be. I will push forward and when I cry, I’ll cry and I’ll let it go when my world is at rest as I sleep. You can bet your ASS I will wake up the next day stronger.
Christina Aguilera’s album leaked yesterday…and It was destiny telling me NOT to give up…because for the past few days I’ve had this terrible attitude. She saved me, again. And all I can pray for is that I can do the same for someone in the near future. This album is pulling me out of the darkness. This bitterness I’ve built up because the temporary is slowly eating away at me.
Music will continue to be my only true love, and maybe that will be the only real love in my life…maybe not. But I can’t get myself down every time a man shy’s away from me for whatever stupid reason. I’m not an insecure person and certain situations have made me feel insecure and worthless. It is unacceptable. Because I am BEYOND worth it.
I, 100%, believe in myself, and the woman I have grown to be. If you don’t like me…you can suck my ****. For real, I need to start laughing about this, because this time next year things are going to change for the better and all of this temporary bullshit will make a good joke and seem so far away. I look forward to that day.
Sarah Madison is not going ANYWHERE. And she is about to conquer everything and more…
Flying out to LA in the morning, New York…I love you but I need a break. I’m overwhelmed and I am suffocating a little. See you again, soon.
Last night was one of those nights where you don’t sleep. Nostalgia just doesn’t let you rest, it claims your mind for a certain amount of time and you replay scenes in your life that stand out whether they were good or bad … pondering on how it just so happened that almost everyone who made an impact on your life left abruptly for no reasons at all other than fear of loving and jealousy. It’s hard for me to accept that I’m going to be alone for a long time. So many people have fallen off the Sarah band wagon due to fear, intimidation, envy… And that really saddens me… Last night was a tough one to get through. Haven’t felt that low in a while.
I’m also still having a REALLY difficult time accepting this mediocre lifestyle that I know is temporary…. but I’m so stubborn! I don’t wanna be working all these part time jobs, killing myself for companies that aren’t even in my profession…it’s really exhausting.
On a lighter note it really makes me so thankful that I have a chance to still strive for a life better than what I’m doing day to day right now and I’m so thankful I still have a shot at doing and being something so much more. Mainstream is NOT an option.
It also makes me really appreciate all those people out there who are stuck working a 9 to 5 they didn’t really see themselves doing 10 years prior… it’s fucking hard. And I am proud of those who strive for themselves or their families and have sacrificed so much because of that. It’s easy to loose yourself…please don’t. Try and find things even if it’s something as small as buying a pair of converse that you used to wear in high school…don’t loose who you are, ever. And don’t let a company or relationship, or whatever the case may be, define who you are.
I’m trying to make EVERYDAY count and I’m trying to inspire people to go after their dreams so they’re not stuck in a conventional life…because thats exactly what I’m trying to figure out and conquer.
Im anxious today, I’m trying to be patient but THAT in itself is trying mine.
Being strong ALL the time is hard, I’m tired today :/ I know tomorrow will be better. It has to be. And I want people to know that it looks like I lead this lavish lifestyle but I’m seriously BUSTING my ass and putting all my energy into something that I only have one shot at … I’m terrified, and I understand how it feels to not enjoy a work week filled with work you didn’t want or didn’t graduate for.
Music will be the only thing to get me through this day. oh and maybe a pumpkin spice latte with an extra shot…
Life is short, make it count. Make a difference. Strive to be the better you, always.
It’s interesting, now that I finally am ready to dive in to this whole dating game (after being hidden in a cave for the past year and 7 months) I am finding that most men are little freakin’ PANSIES. I realize that I’m intimidating (ok I’m REALLY intimidating) but COME ON, grow a pair!
Although, it is funny because I seriously have no barrier anymore, I am blunt, I am honest, I could care less what anyone has to think of me…the only judgement that matters is my own…the only person that now matters in my world is myself, for years I let people walk all over me and that will NEVER happen again. I just hate this waiting game. It sucks.
It is sad though, I feel like because I am so hard men feel they can’t approach me, I mean I guess I don’t blame them I know sometimes I look like I can be a bitch, but I’m really just this sensitive little thing whose main goal in life is to be loved. “we all want love”— Rihanna gets me, and after watching her interview with Oprah I know she is in the same boat as me, it feels nice to not be alone in that sense.
so at this point in my life I guess Its pretty safe to say IDGAF.
If you don’t like me, get over yourself.
If you’re too afraid to be a MAN about certain things, its your loss at the end of the day not mine…
If you haven’t figured out by now that all it takes to make a girl smile is a simple “Hey” in her inbox or a phone call then you are just plain dumb.
I know it is going to be a lonely road going onward and upward…but can’t SOMEONE prove me wrong? there must be a guy out there…who can handle a woman who is headstrong and confident. right?!
I mean…………I’ll believe it when I see it, just surprised I haven’t seen it yet.
I will never understand why people can’t be honest, if you don’t like me GREAT…let me know and we both can move on…if you like me GREAT, then tell me?! Cause I’m not a mind reader. Is it really that difficult?
"The Greater the Difficulty, the Greater the Glory."
As August comes to an end I find myself ready to move forward. This summer, looking back went by fast (which always happens) but day by day, the past 3 months, I found myself drowning in the hours, waiting and wishing for it to end and waiting for the leaves on the trees to turn color and fall.
Sometimes I have to remind myself not to wish away the time and know that being stuck is something I need to learn how to cope with better. I need to realize that I am being tested for what is to come. I need to realize that maybe being stuck right now is exactly where I am supposed to be. Feeling un-sure and un-easy may just be exactly what I am supposed to be feeling before getting to the epitome of a goal that I know is in reach.
Being doubted by the people I want so desperately to believe in me should challenge me to be better and prove them wrong. It should inspire me to make them realize what they should’ve realized from the beginning….and I cannot let their opinions belittle me and make me feel weak. I have to cherish the criticism and better myself from it.
I need to learn how to channel certain emotions and fears through the drive I have and the work I need to do instead of through my mind that only illusions scenarios that are useless.
This summer has absolutely tested my strength and my will to move onward and upward. It’s been one of the loneliest 3 months of my life. And I think It was supposed to be. I need to learn how to deal with being lonely, because I am on the road to one of the loneliest places one could ever travel to. And I need to learn how to be secure in myself and my work before I reach the top.
The hardest thing for me right now is dealing with the temporary. I HATE it. I know it is necessary and part of the process, but sometimes it really eats away at me. The hardest thing is being strong enough to accept it, and try to be great at the things I don’t want to be doing…at the jobs I can’t see myself doing in 5 years from now. I know it is a stepping stone, but It seems more like a giant rock that is taking forever to freakin’ climb!!!
I am proud to say I have explored new things and gone on new adventures that will over-lap into this new season, and I am SO proud of myself for how far I have come. I have a long way to go, and I am ready. No matter how lonely and how challenging… I am ready for all that is in store.
"There is no better Gambling, than not to Gamble" ...
For the past year and a half I have been shut off to the world. Any one that tried to enter my life who hadnt been in it the year prior I kept at a distance…I didn’t want to meet any one, know anyone new. I wanted to be unknown to the world. I had faced two deaths…one in a lover and one in a soul mate, a best friend of 6 years. ( and PS: I don’t literally mean they died, just the relationships did) … I was broken. And no one outside of a select few could see it. I forced myself to smile everyday and I forced myself to get 2 jobs to have something to work at even when everything i wanted was falling apart around me.
It was the hardest time in my life, to date, Thus far. I faced a few minor health scares (which thankfully I am ok and will be…) but I was forced to face fear and deal with it. I was forced to face sadness and deal with it. I am still dealing with it… But I’m finally getting back on track to who I was before it all. Strength is the hardest thing to accomplish. Because no matter what you have to choose it. Even when you don’t want to.
I am trying not to be bitter at 23. Although I think I should turn those numbers around because I’m pretty sure I’m actually 32 years old…trapped in this young adult body. But then again I’ll do something or say something and realize no, I am 23…just in certain aspects I act older than my age, which has always been a blessing and a curse. I’ve always known what I wanted out of life. I’ve known singing was the only thing I’d be doing, I’ve only just wanted that one relationship that lasts. I’ve always wanted a Red Pomeranian, which I will one day have… I hate in-between periods of anything. I hate unsureness. Which is a reoccurring feeling lately.
I always find I’m stopping myself saying ” Sarah breathe, it will come.” I hate waiting. I hate waiting for men, I hate waiting for myself, I hate waiting… I want what I want when I want it. And i deserve that. I know I have to live day to day otherwise I won’t make it out alive.
It’s hard to convince yourself you’re doing the right thing when 50% of your family just wants you to feel guilty for how they raised you. Everyday is still a struggle, not as much as the past year and a half thank god, but it still is hard. I know I need to weigh the pros more than the cons because I’m so blessed for what I do have but it’s still all relative. My struggles are still adequate to the situation I’m in.
Im ready for fall. I’m ready for the leaves to fall and die and I’m ready to start fresh in my favorite season.
I have so much worry. I don’t know how to loose it. Im not going to apologize for thinking the way I do, I am not going to apologize for being hard and not having faith in anyone but myself. Until someone proves me wrong I’m not going to budge.
I’ve been through to much to let the wall down now. Too much hate has been thrown at me over the years and it is only right for me to think the worst before the best. I need to find the right people to let into my life and who TRULY believe in me. I need to know I’m not the only one sacrificing everything for this dream that I KNOW will come. It’s hard to do it alone. And I’m tired of putting all the stress on myself and my loved ones around me who have stayed through all this. When will I be good enough to be the priority, or am I good enough and I just haven’t met the right people. constant questioning back and forth in my head. I’m scared. I feel alone, constantly.
I will continue to be the only one to gamble with this. I will continue to throw myself on the line in hopes that someone one day will also feel that confident in me to help me reach my potential.
It’s tricky right now, yet again I can’t tell who is sincere and who isn’t. Who is real and who isn’t. Who believes in me and who just wants a piece.
I cant believe the time has flown by like this. it feels like it was just yesterday that I was moving in to this little studio with dreams and ambitions ahead of me. The hustle and bustle on Amsterdam Avenue never stopped no matter what time of day it was, and I remember it took me a few weeks to get used to non-stop noise & sirens outside all 4 windows of mine, But now I find when its silent I cant sleep. New York is my lullaby, and for the past 2 and1/2 years 74th and Amsterdam Apartment 1A has been my home…
just like my life, this room has changed a lot. when I first moved in here I had placed my bed diagonally between the 2 walls facing the city streets towards the right side of the apartment. I fell in love during that time. And then before I knew it I moved my bed to the other side of the wall (the left hand side of the room) and then eventually the bed ended up on the opposite wall in the middle of the room, making it the center piece. For the past 7 months, I have woken up in the morning facing 72nd street, with the sun peeking through my blood red curtains and looking out at the apple bank and the 72nd st subway station.
The west side has been my home for the past 4 years. It has treated me so well, and has shaped me into the woman I am now. I’ve laughed here, sobbed here, loved here, failed here and reached amazing goals here. I wrote the first 5 songs on my up-coming album in this very apartment and I will never forget those moments. I’ve been cold here, and I’ve felt warmth here. 169 west 74th was my first real home away from home. It’s where I experienced my first few years living on my own in my city of dreams. Its where friendships were gained and lost. where love was given and taken. where I lived my life, day in and day out. Being able to live near the Met, the Museum of Natural History, some of the most famous places known here, it has made such a huge impact on me. Going forward I know I am a changed woman and I have learned SO much living and be a part of this atmosphere.
Its bittersweet to say goodbye. I know moving is a must for me to continue to grow and learn and experience. I’ve felt stuck here for a really long time, and certain memories still linger here that I know need to die. But I will miss this space, the sounds, the lights, my fierce…still-kickin’ late 80 year old super, Alan…. the smell of Levain cookies in the bakery beneath me, smoothies at 5 am, Cafe 71, the little deli under me that runs all night long with my favorite yogurt and ice cream, Gigi cafe down the street and all the shopping (well actually Its probably for the best that I’m moving away from Urban Outfitters and American Apparel LOL), watching the red carpet for the Tony Awards outside my window, being next to the Beacon Theater and really just living in the perfect location. I’ll miss the buildings that surround me everyday with such unique structure….I’ll just miss everything. Its hard to say goodbye to something you love and know so well. (And can I just say, 1A thank you SO much for keeping the cockroaches out. 2 and 1/2 years and I’ve only seen 1 water-bug and 2 centipedes. THANKYOU<3ILOVEYOU)
Everything happens for a reason, and if it weren’t for me finding this place to move into after graduating AMDA in 2010 I wouldn’t have become the artist I am today. This album is going to have every memory from this place in it. And all the trials and accomplishments I’ve gone through and done here. My life as Sarah Madison truly started here…and the good thing is it wont be ending here. I’m so thankful I’ve been given the chance to live in this place. I remember when I first moved in I found out a broadway dancer from years ago once lived here for quite a while. A starving artist, a woman also going for her dreams in this business and who found her place. I know I will do the same, and I am honored to be on the list of great people who have been able to be apart of this building. This little brownstone has changed me, forever. Thank you Yassky properties :)
As I stare out of my window facing Broadway and looking at the Ansonia building… I realize it will be one of the last times I’ll ever look out at this exact view. Over-looking the street, the people, Josie’s restaurant… And I realize as one window closes another always opens. 74th & Amsterdam, Apartment 1A…. I won’t forget you. Sarah Madison is forever yours, thank you for 2&1/2 amazing years filled with laughter love tears disappointment and everything in between. #upperwestside this isn’t goodbye, just see ya later.
lately, its been rough. on top of having family issues that i’m going to be facing soon (and have been facing), and battling with my own sanity its been really hard on me.
I honestly was ready to give up everything after my year and a half relationship ended with two producers who promised me the world and back this past november (of 2011)
lesson number 1: NEVER believe in a promise made by ANYONE but yourself.
lesson number 2: songwriters out there…COPYRIGHT everything!!!! you do not want to go through what i had to.
I was with 2 guys who tried to turn me into something I wasn’t. Telling me my voice wasn’t ” right “ in this song…. my look wasn’t ” right “ for that sound…but wouldn’t help develop me, they wanted to use to me to get into a label so THEY could make progress with their careers…devastating really. When you come to find the people you trusted who you thought believed in your talent were really only using you for themselves so they could get to the top just to push you back down, it was really hard. Situations like this can make you believe in things that are false and it can make you second guess yourself. NEVER SECOND GUESS YOURSELF,EVER.
BOTTOM LINE- if someone doesn’t like you for who you are and the ideas you have, move on. Especially if you are strong in what you believe and sing about and know what you want out of life and what you want to say through music. Don’t get caught up in someone else’s confusion about who they WANTED to be and missed it and now want to try and morph someone else (you) into what they always wanted.
Luckily I got out of that, it was very disheartening because I gave these guys EVERYTHING I had for a year, and on top of that …all the 15 some songs I started (but never finished) were all one big story of my break up with my former x who I fell in love with, and they then tried to tell me if I wasn’t going to work with them I couldn’t have my own music and they were going to “throw it out” so to speak. The music that told the story of my life for the past year THAT I WROTE. They started telling me that I don’t own any rights to anything and they owned “100%” of everything and wanted me to sign some JANK “contract” (that I showed to a lawyer and he told me ” wow this is the most unprofessional thing I’ve ever seen…good thing you didn’t sign anything with these fools.”) They would call all the time and threaten me, leaving me disrespectful voicemails trying to force me to sign things and give away my rights.
They didn’t want me to have the music I created with them because they didn’t want me to succeed (and probably still don’t) and that is pure evil.
I currently started reading the book “The Secret” which is changing my life. Basically the energy and attitude you put out into the universe you get back, so if you purposely try to bring me down and make me feel a certain way, believe me it will come back to you. Being in this industry and not being able to appreciate talent and be happy for people who are better than you is a HUGE flaw, good luck to anyone who cant do that. No matter how much I don’t like these guys, I had such a good connection with them musically, they were GREAT song writers and I always tell people how good they were before I tell them what they did to me behind my back, because I believed in them…
wise words of a music lawyer- ” sarah, no one can own 100% of anything in the music business..” — #TRUTH
Its hard when every un-genuine person around you seems to be making leaps and jumps in the direction you’re trying to go, when you know they are in it for all the wrong reasons. FAME IS NOT A GOOD REASON TO WANT TO BE A SINGER. (and its usually those people who *just started singing* or has only been doing this for a few years that have this thought process) FYI, the rest of us who have been doing this since childhood find that its disrespectful!!!!! How are you going to save a persons life by owning 6 yachts? IT MAKES ME SO MAD that people actually have the audacity to respond to the question ” why do you want to be a singer ” with ” because I want to be famous ” it should be ” because I want to change someones life” or ” because I want to help someone who is struggling, through my music and my life experiences” FAME IS NOTHING, its just something that comes along with the process. It pisses me off so much to think I let people like that into my life at one point, and believed they were worth my time…I have now cut them out …( thankfully ) I love how they think that getting a song on itunes and being in a magazine is going to get you signed to a label, JUST SO YOU CAN GET FAMOUS. Money is nothing. What happened to it being about the music?
I also love the people that think going out and doing drugs every night and having a black american express card makes you an actor. (Thats a good one) For those of us in this industry that audition daily, write music, perform and STRUGGLE just to get rejected…THAT’S being an actor and THAT’S how you make it in this business.
I’ve wanted this my whole life, the songs on my up-coming album are all REAL events that have happened in my life that have changed me for the better or for the worse…but they communicate stories…even some lyrics are actual quotes from those ignorant people I once thought graced my life.
I just have to focus on myself and what i’m doing and block out all the bullshit around me (via internet). Im not gunna lie, its really difficult especially when our generation is the kind that relies on everything virtual. but just because someone else has a song on itunes right now, doesn’t mean I wont. I’m on my way up and I know this. Give it a year or two and, may I quote one of my idols here, “you’re not gunna be able to walk into a fucking deli without seeing my face on the cover of every magazine.”
I know being patient will be worth it and I know i’m right around the corner from accomplishing the ONE thing i’ve wanted my entire life. and I know im doing it the RIGHT way with the RIGHT people this time. I don’t need to pay someone to put me on a website or magazine…its all gunna happen the right way and I couldn’t be more excited. I am so blessed to have an amazing team now that believes in every breath I take and every lyric I write, who’s goal is to help me succeed.GEEZ? IS THIS REALLY HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO FEEL…WEIRD. ;) #sarcasm
I was made to believe that the songs that I wrote myself weren’t good enough. Those same songs are now going to be on my album that i’m currently working on…and have been re-arranged to their best ability. I cannot contain my excitement! all I want is to help a broken heart fall asleep at night or be a part of a party, a prom, a wedding…I want to make memories with my music and I want my stories to inspire. (and TRUST me I got plenty of stories)
I don’t care if I finish last…I WILL make it. I know I will. My life currently reminds me of Christina Aguilera when she first started. How everyone around her, like Britney Spears and others were all really making a huge hit and taking off with their careers …and she seemed to get lost in the background. She was patient and eventually bloomed just like the rest of them however she has had a long lasting career and is still standing, still making music and doing her thing while the others seemed to have gotten lost along the way. I know that will be my path. I just need to try and relax a little and know that what I am doing now is significant and I am going to accomplish all I have set my mind to, and now I have a team that can help me achieve this goal.
I’ve lost a lot of people close to me this year, and it has taught me a lot. its sad how easy I can tell how genuine someone is and how quickly I can push them out just as quickly as I let them in.
i’m starting therapy in June. I need it. I realized I can no longer handle all this alone, by myself. I still am learning that there are a lot of burdens I still carry from my past that need to be resolved. My family has become more distant than ever and we are about to face a whole lot of changes and hard ships, and I hope in the end it brings us closer because I really need a family behind me.
Music is currently my boyfriend, don’t EVEN get me started on men of my generation….(read a few blogs down, there are some pretty epic stories about the past men ive dated)
If I wasn’t this jaded, I wouldn’t be making the music im making, so im just taking it all in. As hard as it is, I wouldn’t change a THING about the past experiences ive had. I know one day, ill be a little bit more soft spoken and open hearted, but not today…I need to keep this wall up, keep being selfish and bring myself the success I deserve.
follow me, search me, subscribe to me, like me. ***you wont regret it
SARAH MADISON MUSIC COMING SOON. GET READY
and one last thing, to those of you who continue to stay by my side through all this, I would be NOTHING without you. Thank you to everyone who supports me, my family, my music. I truly love you and I will not disappoint you!
I love when un-professional wanna-be labels who start unsigned artist competitions “don’t wanna deal with me” because “Im a bitch.” Im a bitch when people LIE and USE me. lets RECAP…I came in 3RD place in a competition last april (they CHOSE 3 winners, one of them being myself) with a prize of studio time to complete 2 songs written by me…and they decided because they didn’t “like” me not to invite me back to the finale tomorrow for the second season to perform and talk to the contestants…..regardless if you like me or not, YOU CHOSE ME AS A WINNER. I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE THERE WITH THE OTHER 2 WINNERS WHO HAPPEN TO BE SUPER TALENTED FRIENDS OF MINE…..
Can I just say, I love when people, especially men, mock the fact that I’m jaded and laugh at me.
IF you had to go through HALF of what I have gone through in my life you would have not survived. Divorce,Disease, Jealousy, Spite, Hatred,Isolation,Discrimination….until you have walked in someone else’s shoes, especially mine don’t you DARE judge me. I can be jaded if I want to and I will continue to do so until proven wrong….which clearly I must be pretty damn right about a lot of things cause that hasn’t happened yet.
I will never apologize for being jaded, where is compassion? Where has that gone. It saddens me SO much
I would not take back a single thing in my life to re do no matter how hard I cried or how much pain I went through because if it weren’t for pain I would not be the amazing woman and artist that I am today, and when I fucking make it I’ll save someone’s life who is going through similar things…thinking about suicide or drugs as an outlet because they feel so alone.
I love who I am 100% there is no one like me nor will there ever be and I cannot wait for those certain individuals over the years and over the past few weeks to realize that. You loose out, not me.
I hate cowards and I hate people that don’t own up to how they act or what they say. No one is honest anymore. It’s disgusting.
I’m jaded-I’m beautiful- I’m hard-I’m emotional-I’m a DAMN good lover-I’m a realist-I know what I want-I’m a fighter-in dramatic-I can be a lot to handle-I’m compassionate- I’m driven.
If you cannot accept and define your flaws and all and can’t apologize or own up to things you say and do good luck to you. You are weak.
Don’t sweet talk me and then back out. Don’t judge me. Don’t pretend you care. It’s heinous.
Dating my career and this business is hard enough.
Tomorrow I’ll laugh about this but for the moment I am so so annoyed.
Sometimes in life when you think you’ve hit rock bottom you need a pick me up, you need to do something for yourself to remind you everything is going to be ok, and life is still moving on around you even though you think yours has tragically stopped. When people have let you down so many times in a matter of 72 hours that your abs hurt from crying so hard and your head hurts from thinking to much. sometimes it takes a little get-a-way to a new place with new people who are just as beautiful as the state to convince yourself you are doing the right thing in your life even when your own blood is trying to tell you that you’re ignorant in thinking so. ( this excludes my amazing mother, grandmother and brother )
This trip has revived me. since November of last year I have been working so hard to please people in my life who aren’t good for me. I have been trying to prove and scramble for ways to show that I’m worth something. And being here in Dallas has shown me that you don’t have to do that, dallas has showed me i can be loved and respected…you have to Work hard for yourself, so at the end of the day you can be proud you juggled all these things in order to make your real dreams and goals happen and people will acknowledge that.
"This is real life, baby and it’s the only one we got " - Sean Manning
and there is not a moment to waste
When i first got here, Noelle picked me up from the airport… When she saw me looking around with my suitcase she shouted to get my attention .. I turned and saw her jump out of the car to give me a hug….” look at you !!! God youre so beautiful ! Ahh Your finally here !! I’m so happy to see you.” … I can’t remember the last time someone looked at me like that and called me beautiful with the utmost truth and love. As she introduced me to friends and family I was welcomed with hugs as well… these wonderful random, but loving hugs. It was such a nice change of pace and attitude ( don’t get me wrong NYC is my baby, my love… But sometimes it gets very cold over here, and I don’t mean the weather ) it was so nice and unexpected to be welcomed with such joy by strangers…who would soon become what I hoped… to be life long friends.
The week came and went as days and hours usually do. Time is of the essence and always seems to slip right by you without you even knowing, but even though the 7 days flew by the memories will last forever… The laughter was non-stop and a fluent part of each day. I haven’t laughed that hard for at least a year or two…there wasn’t a time I was stressed or annoyed, all I know now is that I laughed everyday and woke up smiling to people who are real and beautiful. Whether we were laying on eachother laughing at nothing else but utter silence, barbecuing and drinking champagne in the jacuzzi, shopping, chasing eachother around the house, making baby crocodile noises or drinking English tea …every hour of every day was filled with harmony ( both literally and figuratively ;)… ) it’s amazing how people come together over music, the love of music brought me here and brought me into Noelle’s life. I felt like I was part of a family, which I don’t get to feel most of the time and haven’t felt for most of my life.
Performing with Noelle was such a reviving and amazing experience. To perform with people you look up to who inspire you is such a gift. When I first met her through the Internet I knew I had to get to know her. She seemed to be a missing piece to my life that I had found. She has awakened my spirit and her and her family have changed my life for the better.
In Dallas I witnessed real love, and it has helped me regain a little faith I had lost the past 18 years of my life. I am happy, and though I don’t think I will find it for myself just knowing it still exists makes me loose the doubts Ive had about humanity and it assures me things like that still exist… Growing up in a home where there is little to none of that, of love with no affection, and only disconnection its hard for me to believe anymore, but Texas has given me strength. Noelle and sean you have given me strength and I am so thankful that you are apart of my life now, no matter how many miles we are away from eachother.
On my way to the airport I found myself a little sad to leave all of this behind. Who would have thought this hard-ass, fire-cracker diva woman would find a place in her heart for Texas. I was shown what real love is here, what I hope to someday find within myself and for myself. I was inspired, happy, funny, wild, crazy, but most of all I found pieces of myself I thought I lost… The comical, calm and warm parts of me that have been recovered underneath all the external hard shell Ive been growing ever since i moved to New York 3 years ago.
Dallas thank you for changing my disbelief and thank you for relieving me from doubt. And when I say “Dallas” I mean Noelle ,Isabella ,Sean & Cynthia. Here’s to you…beautiful people, people I can now call my extended family, forever.
It’s not goodbye, it’s see you soon, I love you with all my heart, always. GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE TO THE BIG APPLE !